Anniversary
by igiveuoneguess
Summary: Sometimes... it's not fair how some get to go home and jump into their beds, sleeping without worry, while for those like us... the night only means more nightmares and terror.


The transition from evening to dusk in Konoha means different things for different people. For the citizens, it means the day is drawing to a close and that they should be in their homes, cooking or eating, or even just relaxing with their families. For the numerous street vendors, it means another end to another day, and that it's time to close up shop and begin the trek home. However, for some shinobi this transition doesn't mean an end to the day. It's only the beginning of yet another sleepless, fitful night. It is at this time that many of the bars are packed with ninja, physically hardened from training and fighting, but all psychologically shaken. All looking to drown their sorrows and fears. It is at one of these bars that one could find Shikamaru Nara. He'd been there for a couple of hours, drinking shot after shot, trying to get as drunk as he could. Today was a special day, after all. It was a year ago that the Fourth Great Ninja War ended, a year since he saw so many precious comrades fall before him on the battlefield. He downed another glass, trying to chase away the memories. They never went away, but they felt stronger today. While everyone else was celebrating, all the survivors were suffering. He nearly laughed at the thought. He shakily held his glass out to the bartender for a refill, and he was refused.

"Come on… refill."

"I'm sorry, but I gotta cut ya off. You've been in here for hours, drinking shots back to back. It's gettin' dangerous. You're a ninja, ain't ya?"

"What of it?" Shikamaru was not in the mood for this confrontation. He just wanted to drink his consciousness away.

"Well, how are ya gonna be alert to protect the village if you're drunk off ya a-" He was cut off by a very agitated Shikamaru slamming his hands down on the counter and standing up. He threw down enough money to cover his bill, and stormed out of the building. Outside, he was met by cool air, and he inhaled, soothing his burning throat.

'Might as well…' He slowly made his way through the dark, deserted streets of the village, and toward the hokage stone monument. Even in his drunken stupor, he was always amazed at how many names had been inscribed on the stone, how many shinobi had been valiant enough to give their lives in service to the village. He scanned over the names until he came to two that stood out the most to him:

ASUMA SARUTOBI

SHIKAKU NARA

He sighed as the mere sight of their names sobered him, and looked up to the sky. He knew exactly what both men would say to him if they saw him in the pitiful state he was in. The faintest of smiles made its way onto his face at the memories of them yelling at him for his extreme laziness. Their deaths weren't easy to handle, but he found some sort of peace in knowing that they were ready to do so at any moment, and that they didn't regret anything they'd done in life. Asuma had left behind his legacy in the form of his and Kurenai's child. And his father… his father had lived his life the way he wanted. He'd been able to get married and see a son grow to be a shinobi. Shikamaru's thoughts turned darker and he stood, completely silent and unthinking for once, until he felt his respects had been paid. He then turned his destination to the Nara woods. He was dreading going there, but he had to. His feet moved his body, even with his mind screaming 'NO'. It was too dark to see anymore, so he stopped at his home and grabbed a flashlight. His mother was in the kitchen, cleaning. She was just as solemn as he was, as she'd lost her life partner and source of nightly warmth a year ago, and hardly acknowledged her son's presence. They merely exchanged an understanding look, and Shikamaru continued on his way. Thankfully he knew the woods like the back of his hand, so he was able to navigate to where he wanted to go with ease. As he neared the clearing, he felt the wind picking up, dancing around him as if it were excited to see him again. He smiled to himself and kneeled before two markers. A painful memory resurfaced, and he couldn't hold back the flood of tears that poured down his face.

_The battle was getting more and more intense, and shinobi were dropping left and right. The entire time, Shikamaru only had his attention on two things: his plans for battle, and her. He glanced at her when he wasn't fighting for his own life, to make sure she was okay. He had vowed not to let anything bad happen to her. He spotted a white Zetsu coming up from behind her, in her blind spot. So he sped over and sliced the miserable thing's head off. She whipped around and they both dodged another attack._

"_Baka! What are you doing?"_

"_Protecting you! That thing was in your blind spot. I couldn't let him hurt you." His soft words made her smile and softly pinch his cheek. They both dodged another attack and found a quick place to hide._

"_Thanks Shika. But I'm fine. I swear to you, we're both gonna make it out of here… well, all three of us." She said, softly blushing._

"_All three… huh? Y-you mean you're?" he asked, never expecting something like that to come out of her mouth._

"_Yes, I am. Sorry I didn't tell you-" she was cut off by his arms wrapping around her tightly._

"_You baka. You are in so much trouble when we make it out of here. You thought I'd make you stay away from this battle, which is why you hid it. I know you, Mari. Just… be careful." He pleaded, his newfound happiness giving him strength to fight on. She smiled brightly and they shared a tender kiss._

"_You too, crybaby." And with that, they both went back to defending themselves and their fellow shinobi._

Shikamaru was freely sobbing at this point, his tears saturating the ground beneath him.

_The battle was drawing to an end, and the shinobi alliance was winning. With Naruto and Sasuke together, they were nearly unstoppable, even against the might of Madara. Shikamaru was busy helping to relay a message to the shinobi for Naruto, pleading that they not give up, that they keep fighting on to see another day. And it was working. Their morale stayed alive because of that one knucklehead. However, Madara caught onto what was happening, and he turned his attention to stopping Shikamaru, once and for all. At the moment when neither Naruto or Sasuke expected it, an extremely fast attack was aimed at the genius, and it was too late for anyone to try and save him. And by the time Shikamaru noticed, his body was too frozen from fear to do anything. He reflexively closed his eyes and waited for the end to come, but it never did. Instead, he found himself blown back by a powerful gust of wind, wind that could only belong to one person. His eyes shot open and he was greeted by the sight of a clone of Madara, holding his savior by the neck._

"_How foolish of you, to stand in my way." he said, grip getting tighter._

'_No… no, this isn't happening. It's not.' Shikamaru ran to the clone, only to be knocked down by a well placed kick to the jaw. He rose back up, there was no one, no one who could save her. Naruto and Sasuke were busy fighting the real Madara, the Kages were providing support. Not even Gaara could make it to them fast enough. The young Kazekage could see what was happening, however, and the pure anguish was obvious on his face. Tears streamed down his face as he kept his sand going for the duo. _

"_Ne… Shika." Shikamaru snapped his head toward her. "Don't be sad… it's alright. You crybaby. We'll see each other again someday, I promise…. I'll wait for you however long it takes…. and until then I'll be watching…. me, Shikaku….. and Asuma…. and our little one... Be a strong shinobi… we can be proud of, ok? … And hey?" he was crying freely now, hearing her voice getting weaker and weaker._

"_Yes?"_

"_I love you… my lazy genius…" at her words, he got back up and leaped onto Madara's clone, clawing, punching, doing anything he could to try and free her from his grasp. _

"_Temari… no. I love you too. I can't live without you. Please, don't leave me. I need you yelling at me, telling me I'm lazy, hitting me with that gigantic fan and keeping my ass in line. I know I'm lazy and I don't know what made you love me, but I know I've never loved anyone else this much. Please, just hang in there. I'll get you out of there so we can live and raise our family, together." But his clone was no pushover, and easily knocked him down, kicking him so hard he was moved back a few yards. But not before he saw a few tears fall down the face of his angel as her throat was crushed. His last memory of her face wasn't peaceful like some other lucky people, but her face had pain written all over it. Madara's clone, confident she was dead, dropped her and began a deadly pace toward him and he sat there, in shock at what had just happened. He let her die, right before his eyes. He could only watch as the clone reached him, and didn't even move when he was saved by a huge sand pike impaling his assailant. Gaara dropped down before him and snatched him up, slapping him across the face._

"_Don't you dare give up here! Keep fighting! I know what just happened, and I know how you feel. But we can grieve when this is over. We still need you relaying messages. We'll get someone to guard you. We… we have to fight." Gaara's voice wavered at the end and Shikamaru could see him doing his best to fight back tears. Looking at the crumpled body of his lover, he nodded stiffly and the two went to rejoin the battle. _

"_Gaara… she… she was pregnant." The sand they rode on faltered in the slightest, then continued on._

"_The pregnancy was still too early to consider saving the child, I assume?" To which, Gaara received a nod. "I see…"_

Shikamaru pounded the ground over and over again.

'Why couldn't I protect her? This wasn't supposed to happen… Why the hell was I so weak? I should've saved her… I should've saved my Mari.'

"I'm sorry Mari… I'm sorry… I'm sorry…" Shikamaru went on, repeating sorry to the two markers, one simply marked with a name: Subaku no Temari and another unnamed marker, for naming it would have brought far too much pain. In the quiet of the night, Shikamaru cried until he fell asleep, once again only to be tormented by nightmares.


End file.
